Elementary school is far more than just learning to read, write, and solve math problems. These formative years represent a critical window for developing the social skills that will shape how your child interacts with others throughout their entire life. A child who struggles socially in second grade might face unnecessary challenges in middle school, while one who develops strong friendships and communication abilities early on tends to feel more confident and resilient.

During the elementary years, children spend most of their day interacting with peers in a structured environment. This setting provides countless opportunities to practice cooperation, resolve conflicts, and learn how to navigate different social situations. The good news is that social skills aren’t innate talents—they’re learned behaviors that parents and teachers can actively nurture and develop.

Understanding which social skills matter most can help you support your child’s growth in meaningful ways. Rather than leaving social development entirely to chance, you can intentionally foster the abilities that will help your child build meaningful relationships, handle challenges gracefully, and become a confident, empathetic person.

Communication Skills: The Foundation of Social Success

Effective communication forms the bedrock of all healthy relationships. For elementary-aged children, this means learning to express thoughts clearly, listen attentively, and understand what others are saying—both literally and emotionally.

Speaking and Expressing Ideas

Children should develop the ability to speak up in class, share their opinions with peers, and ask for help when they need it. A child who can articulate what they’re thinking or feeling is better equipped to solve problems and connect with others. This doesn’t mean every child needs to be outgoing or talkative; even quieter children can develop strong communication skills by expressing themselves authentically.

Encourage your child to share stories about their day, ask questions during family discussions, and participate in conversations without interruption. When children practice putting their thoughts into words at home, they’re much more likely to feel comfortable doing so at school.

Active Listening

Listening is just as important as speaking. Children who listen well can understand their classmates’ perspectives, follow instructions more accurately, and pick up on social cues. Active listening involves looking at the person speaking, asking clarifying questions, and remembering what was said.

You can model active listening at home by putting away distractions when your child talks to you. Make eye contact, respond to what they’ve said, and ask follow-up questions. Kids learn by watching, and when they see you listening intently, they’ll naturally begin doing the same with others.

Emotional Intelligence and Empathy

Understanding and managing emotions—both their own and others’—is perhaps one of the most valuable skills a child can develop. Emotional intelligence helps children navigate friendship drama, handle disappointment, and respond appropriately to different social situations.

Recognizing and Naming Emotions

Young children often struggle to identify what they’re feeling beyond basic categories like happy or sad. Teaching your child to recognize a wider range of emotions—frustrated, embarrassed, excited, nervous, jealous—helps them understand themselves and respond more constructively when difficult feelings arise.

When your child is upset, pause and ask what they’re feeling rather than immediately trying to fix the situation. This validates their emotions while helping them develop emotional vocabulary.

Developing Empathy

Empathy—the ability to understand and care about how others feel—is the stepping stone to kindness and strong friendships. Elementary school children can absolutely learn to consider how their actions affect others, even if their capacity for empathy is still developing.

Point out instances in everyday life where empathy matters. If your child’s friend seems quiet at lunch, you might say, "I notice Maya isn’t talking much today. I wonder if something’s bothering her. How could we help?" These gentle prompts teach children to pay attention to others’ emotional states.

Cooperation and Teamwork

Much of elementary school involves working alongside other children. From group projects to recess games, your child will constantly need to cooperate with peers who have different interests, abilities, and temperaments.

Sharing and Taking Turns

Even by elementary school, taking turns doesn’t always come naturally. Children benefit from practice sharing materials, playing games with rules that require turn-taking, and collaborating on tasks. These experiences teach that group activities can be enjoyable and that considering others’ needs doesn’t diminish their own experience.

Following Group Norms

Every group—a classroom, a sports team, a friend group—has unwritten rules about how members should behave. Children who can observe and adapt to these norms will find themselves welcome in different social circles. This involves noticing what behavior is expected and adjusting accordingly, whether that means being quieter during a lesson or more energetic during recess.

Conflict Resolution and Problem-Solving

Disagreements are inevitable when children spend time together. What matters is whether they have skills to handle conflicts constructively. Children who can navigate disagreements without adult intervention tend to feel more capable and confident socially.

Managing Disagreements

Teach your child practical approaches to conflict. When two children want the same toy, they might take turns, play with it together, or choose different activities. Role-playing different scenarios at home helps children practice without the emotional intensity of an actual conflict.

Apologizing and Making Amends

Learning to take responsibility when they’ve hurt someone, apologize sincerely, and make amends are crucial skills that many children find genuinely difficult. An apology that simply says "sorry" without understanding what went wrong isn’t particularly meaningful. Help your child think through what happened, how it affected the other person, and what they could do differently next time.

Friendship Skills

Developing and maintaining friendships requires a distinct set of abilities. Some children seem to make friends effortlessly, while others find it more challenging. Either way, these skills can be developed.

Initiating Social Connection

Some children need encouragement to approach new peers. Practice suggests different ways to start a conversation or join an activity: asking someone if they want to play, complimenting something about them, or finding a shared interest. These seem simple to adults but can feel overwhelming for shy or anxious children.

Maintaining Friendships

Making a friend is just the beginning. Your child also needs to learn how to be a good friend—showing interest in what their friends care about, being reliable, keeping confidences, and offering support. Children who understand that friendships require effort and consistency tend to develop deeper, more lasting connections.

Navigating Peer Pressure

As children move through elementary school, particularly in the later grades, peer pressure becomes more influential. Your child should develop the confidence to make their own choices, even when others might make different ones. This doesn’t mean they need to be contrarian; rather, they should feel secure enough to decline activities that don’t interest them or that violate their values.

Self-Advocacy and Boundary-Setting

Children should learn to speak up for themselves in respectful ways. This includes asking for what they need, saying no when appropriate, and telling a trusted adult when something is wrong.

A child who can tell a teacher they don’t understand something, tell a peer they don’t want to be hugged, or report bullying to an adult is developing crucial self-advocacy skills. These abilities protect children from exploitation and help them get their needs met appropriately.

Resilience and Handling Disappointment

Elementary school presents regular opportunities for disappointment: not making a sports team, having a friend play with someone else, or making a mistake in front of the class. How children respond to these setbacks shapes their long-term confidence and social persistence.

Children who develop resilience understand that disappointment is temporary, failure doesn’t define them, and most problems are solvable. Avoid rushing to rescue your child from every uncomfortable feeling. Instead, help them sit with disappointment, process it, and move forward.

Supporting Your Child’s Social Development

Social skills don’t develop in isolation. They flourish when children have safe spaces to practice, patient guidance from adults, and real-world opportunities to interact with diverse peers. Encourage your child to participate in activities they enjoy—whether that’s a sports league, art class, or community group—where they can practice social skills in settings aligned with their interests.

Remember that children develop at different paces socially, just as they do academically. Some children are naturally outgoing, while others are thoughtfully reserved. Neither trait is better than the other; what matters is that your child learns the skills they need to build connections and navigate their social world with confidence and kindness. By staying involved, remaining attentive to their social experiences, and gently coaching them through challenges, you’re setting them up for a lifetime of healthy relationships and social success.

Social Skills to Develop in Elementary School

Communication Skills

• Listening actively to peers and adults without interrupting
• Speaking clearly and expressing thoughts coherently
• Using appropriate tone and volume in different settings
• Asking for help when needed
• Following conversation rules such as taking turns talking
• Asking questions to understand others

Emotional Intelligence

• Recognizing emotions in themselves and others
• Managing frustration, anger, and disappointment appropriately
• Developing empathy and understanding others’ feelings
• Practicing self-control in emotional situations
• Expressing feelings in healthy ways
• Building emotional resilience to handle setbacks

Cooperation and Teamwork

• Working collaboratively on group projects
• Sharing materials and taking turns
• Contributing to group goals rather than focusing only on individual needs
• Following group rules and respecting decisions
• Accepting leadership roles and supporting peers as leaders

Conflict Resolution

• Identifying conflicts as they arise
• Using words instead of physical aggression to solve problems
• Apologizing sincerely when wrong
• Forgiving others and moving forward
• Compromising and finding solutions acceptable to all parties
• Seeking adult help when needed

Friendship Skills

• Making new friends through introductions and joining activities
• Maintaining friendships through consistency and kindness
• Including others in activities and games
• Being a good friend through loyalty and support
• Respecting boundaries and personal space
• Recognizing toxic behaviors and knowing when to distance from certain peers

Respect and Courtesy

• Using polite language (please, thank you, excuse me)
• Respecting differences in appearance, beliefs, and backgrounds
• Following classroom and school rules
• Respecting authority figures and accepting guidance
• Accepting diverse perspectives and opinions
• Demonstrating good manners in various settings

Self-Advocacy

• Expressing needs and preferences respectfully
• Standing up for oneself against peer pressure
• Knowing when to say no appropriately
• Communicating concerns to trusted adults
• Setting personal boundaries and respecting others’ boundaries

Responsibility and Reliability

• Keeping commitments to friends and group members
• Being dependable in group settings
• Taking responsibility for mistakes
• Completing assigned tasks in collaborative situations
• Being punctual and present for planned activities

Relationship Building

• Showing genuine interest in peers’ thoughts and experiences
• Complimenting others and offering encouragement
• Being authentic and true to oneself
• Spending time with different groups of peers
• Maintaining long-term friendships through effort and care

Adapting to Social Settings

• Understanding different social contexts (classroom, playground, lunch, home)
• Adjusting behavior appropriately for different environments
• Recognizing social cues and body language
• Participating in group activities appropriately
• Following unwritten social rules specific to situations

Digital Social Skills (Modern Addition)

• Using technology respectfully and kindly in online interactions
• Understanding cyberbullying and not participating
• Respecting privacy online and offline
• Communicating safely and not sharing personal information
• Taking breaks from screens to maintain healthy relationships